The title of my post is adorable because ANY day could be ice cream day for me if I let it. I wrote yesterday about my precious Ben & Jerry’s find at Target, and I wrote how I could only eat a few spoonfuls of the stuff because it’s so rich. And while that’s 100% true, what I did not mention was that I ate a good amount of regular grocery store-brand ice cream yesterday, and just had some more today.
In the original iteration of my blog I didn’t write too much about my food struggles (aside from needing to lose weight), but what the hell, I see other runner bloggers being super honest so I can too. I’ve been dieting in one way or another since I was in high school, obviously letting go at times (my semester abroad in Florence, for example), and being super restrictive at others (I had one super fun week, years ago, where I tried eating every other day. I was a joy to live with, just ask my BFF!). Right now I’m definitely in a more moderate and well-informed place and I feel like I know what works for me. But that definitely doesn’t mean I don’t slip up.
To me, in my experience at least, there’s a difference between overindulging and downright binging. Overindulging is eating something decadent at a restaurant, or going out for dinner on a Saturday night and brunch on Sunday and just taking in way more food than you usually would. It’s something I don’t do too often, but when I do, I typically don’t feel overly guilty. Binging is a whole other game, and the guilt that comes with a binge is flat-out miserable. In the past, both working with nutritionists or counselors or doing it on my own, I’ve tried identifying what exactly can lead me to a binge – boredom, for sure, sometimes sadness, once in awhile anger, and I guess mostly just being tired of being on point. It’s not logical – for example, sometimes when the scale is up, rather than getting restrictive I get so mad that I just let myself eat, which makes zero sense. And it’s not always done with great food – cereal, for example, is a binge food for me. I don’t know why, but I can’t even have Cheerios in my house because I’ll just overeat them. Who wastes a binge on Cheerios?!
Which brings me to yesterday and today. Thankfully neither ice cream-imbibing incident was a full-on binge (in that I was able to stop both times and didn’t move on to other foods), but neither made me feel great either. The one thing I did today (which in retrospect I should have done yesterday) was squirt soap into the leftover ice cream, to prevent myself from eating more today or having it tomorrow. That really is the one way for me to quit it – well, that or just not buying it in the first place! Thankfully for whatever reason I really do maintain control with the really good stuff, so my pint of B&J is safely in the freezer, sans any soap, ready for another spoonful or two tomorrow. 🙂
This all sort of ties in with fitness too. I typically will plan out my workouts so that I get a variety of exercise and it’s evened out so that my body isn’t overly sore. I knew this morning I was going to a yoga class at the gym, but last night I started feeling crappy about the ice cream incident and decided I should hit up an interval class just before the yoga one. I’m so glad I didn’t. Because, for one, I haven’t had a day off since last Sunday, so yoga was a gentle way to move around without taxing myself. Two, I want to go to a strength class tomorrow morning and I absolutely need fresh legs and arms to be able to lift. Three, a cardinal rule of fitness is that you don’t do it to punish yourself, and if I’d gone to the interval class, it would have been for that exact purpose.
So instead I went to yoga and felt great, came home and cleaned my living room after my Christmas tree was taken down, and have been otherwise just sitting on my couch and catching up on fitness blogs and fun emails. Honestly I’m not sure how today’s ice cream incident happened – I guess I just wanted something sweet, and the apple I ate beforehand wasn’t cutting it – but at least it’s over and it wasn’t too out of control in the grand scheme of things, and now that my creamy treat is doused in soap, I won’t be tempted to go back for more!
My yoga class this morning made me laugh – I went to this particular class a few times back in the fall, and a few of those times the instructor had a sub, so I’ve only really taken her class maybe 3 or 4 times total. She is pretty much a stereotypical yoga instructor – flowy hair, hippie-ish clothes, soothing voice, etc etc etc. She saw me come into the gym and saw I was carrying my mat, so she asked if I’d taken her class before and I said yes, and I laughed and said I felt like her remedial student because she was always correcting my pose. Well later on during class she came over to help me with something and goes “ohhhh I remember you.” Hahaha – apparently the fact that I can’t get my fingers flat on the mat during Down Dog is memorable! 🙂
I wrote yesterday how yoga is still so frustrating to me at times – I took dance classes for 15 years, and it kills me that I’ve lost all that flexibility. I have this inner monologue during classes, usually with some version of this:
“OMG how much longer are we going to hold this pose?! God!”
“Geez, look at that girl…how does she get her legs so straight? Why aren’t my legs straight?”
“My boobs totally get in the way of my vinyasa flow. If mine were smaller I’d be so much better at this.”
“Ick! Is that my stomach?! God!”
“Oooh look at me, I totally have this pose down! Wow…I’m, like, the best one in the class with this pose! I hope the teacher notices! Wait…oh crap…I’m totally doing this wrong…that’s why it felt so easy!”
And so on and so forth. Not exactly the zen mindfulness one is supposed to possess during her practice. 🙂
That’s about all for today! Oh but I must plug a movie I watched last night – While We’re Young. It was my Netflix rental and I loved it – super well done. Rent it yourself and let me know if you enjoyed it!